The present life
Part two is a big jump - from one plane to the other - one life to the other
a completely new and un-thought world.
I wish I knew what my family though of me,
but I haven't seen them in more than 100 years.
They visit me everyday and are always in my mind but in a dormant part that I try not to go too close to.
Maybe I am the fearful one.
The basic one that they know and want back.
Maybe I am dead for them
as I have never been there
I passed though their lives very quickly
and it has always been short and pleasant
They watched many soup operas about how families and life should be
in a way they shaped their lives this way.
Watching is never boring when things happen so quickly, and the changes and turns go on and on.
the reality is that life is more passive than the movies
and each turn is very torturous and long and slow
I am here, I am so far, and I can't open and talk and be like the others
there are always these things
these tortuous things from so long ago
maybe you don't know what it is like to live very hardly everyday.
to block the thoughts of being unloved, and loved for being so far away
I just want to be, and from being i can't grow as i wanted or as I see others I like - do
They want me to be good
I know what is good
but my language is plain
I am the basic one
I came from the suburbs of life.